the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
