I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize