apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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