nut hugger
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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