Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
