i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
