Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
