he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
