I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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