Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
