He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
