He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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