come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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