He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
