All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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