i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
