Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
