At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The air taste purple.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
