Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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