That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
