Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
