As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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