Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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