The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How does one acquire holy water?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
