if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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