Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
