So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
