Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize