quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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