Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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