Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
