i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
