..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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