I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
