do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
