you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
