Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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