so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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