I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
