Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
