Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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