Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
