did you get engaged???
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize