Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
