I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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