11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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