is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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