I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
