I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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