just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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