Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
