I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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