I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
