you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
