Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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