Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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