Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
