you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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