just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize