Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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