My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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