All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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