I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
