I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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