Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
