dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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