OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
