Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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